Saturday, 23 July 2011

The Yin-Yang of Tiger Wife and Tiger Mom

The Yin-Yang of Tiger Wife and Tiger Mom

In the previous post, I discuss about ‘timing’ and ‘positioning’.  Now, I would like to move a step further. We can extend the situation to the Tiger Wife incident which becomes popular and famous over night after the News Corp hearing at the British Parliament.

Here is the story:

Two days ago she was simply Rupert Murdoch’s Chinese wife, a tall beauty for whom the media tycoon brutally abandoned his wife of 32 years, Anna.
Now Wendi Deng Murdoch is a global heroine, a tigress who leapt to claw and punch a man throwing a plate of foam (but it could have been anything) – into her 80-year-old husband’s face at Tuesday’s House of Commons committee hearing.

Wendi Deng is now a Tiger wife. The position that Wendi sat and the timing she hit the guy was a good combination of ‘timing’ and ‘positioning’. This provided her an effective defense and counter attack strategy. And indirectly, her action has projected a positive image of Chinese women.

Yin and Yang

Chinese believes everybody posses ‘yin’ and ‘yang’
(阴中有阳,阳中有阴). And generally, men have more ‘yang’ than ‘yin’ and women have more ‘yin’ than ‘yang’.

If you apply it to Tiger Wife Wendi Deng, it clearly shows that the hidden ‘yin’ will only expose under threat. Tiger Wife only uses the ‘yang’ when necessary. Otherwise, she always remains the ‘woman behind her man’. So, when there is danger, the ‘yang’ will surface and become the main force to strike a counter attack.

In Chinese, there is saying:该出手时就出手. You make the move when it is necessary.

Tiger mom has more Yang than Yin

However, earlier this year, there was another famous Chinese woman, Amy Chua, who caused a huge controversy and debate on her best selling book"The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother."

Here is the Tiger Mom’s story: 

Have you heard about the Chinese mother who wrote the best-selling book "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"?
People familiar with Amy Chua's work view her either as an overly strict, authoritarian parent who ruined the joy of childhood for her children or a mom who employed a parenting style that more U.S. parents should emulate. It's the battle between the "Demanding Eastern" parenting style and the "Permissive Western" style used by most American parents.

If you compare Tiger Wife and Tiger Mom, you will see the differences.  Tiger Wife hides the ‘yang’ when necessary. But, Tiger Mom shows her ‘yang’ regularly and applies it to her daughters. And in this case, she becomes an authoritarian mother, like acting the role of a father rather than a mother.

Even sisters there are differences

In the interview below, Amy Chua said her 2 daughters are different. The elder one has no problem with her strict discipline but the younger is a rebellion type and causes a lot of problems to her.

Even from the same DNA, the sisters are having very different combination of ‘yin’ and ‘yang’.  The elder one has more ‘yin’ or hides the ‘yang’.  However, the younger one always wants to show the ‘yang’ character and hides ‘yin’ character.

Balanced education

In the later part of the interview, Amy Chua agreed that she was wrong to force her idea on her younger daughter.  She said there was a misunderstanding branding her as a Tiger Mom.  In fact, she also opposed to the approach of Tiger Mom in educating children. 

Perhaps, it is better to have a balanced education. Considering the western education as a ‘yang’ force and the Chinese or eastern education as a ‘yin’ force, a balance between these 2 forces will be a better solution.

If the child can take on the pressure (has more ‘yin’ elements), then the Chinese way of education may be appropriate. Otherwise, western education is more appropriate.

Every child is different. There is no standard solution.   

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